The Purple Ribbon

As the month of October winds down we are all focused on the orange and black. Early this month we celebrated, walked, and donated to the pink ribbon cause - breast cancer awareness. But most of us don't even know that there is another major women's health issue that is trying to gain traction and promote awareness among the general public during the month of witches, goblins and fairies. This issue affects 1 in 4 women and is believed to be under reported. What I'm referring to is domestic violence - the purple ribbon cause. If you ask me, the people who picked the purple ribbon month to coincide with the pink ribbon cause weren't the smartest marketers in the world. How could the cause not get lost in the sea of pink that we all are floating in during the 10th month of the year? And, where would the domestic violence awareness movement be if they had chosen a different month? Would we all be swept up by a wave of purple in February and therefore be gaining more traction in the fight against violence against women in their homes? One article I read says no. It actually questions whether all of the pink products we are buying are doing enough to promote action towards a cure to the most common form of cancer in women. And so maybe the founders of the National Domestic Violence Awareness Project were smart. Perhaps by avoiding the purple ribbon frenzy they are gaining ground with fewer folks who are more committed to taking action towards making change.

Today, on the 29th of the month I decided to reenter the world of domestic violence prevention and awareness if only for a brief moment. A few years back, I became fairly involved as a volunteer for our local domestic violence shelter. I wore a pager and answered hotline calls a couple times per month and also trained other volunteers. This was a time in my life where I felt compelled to reach out to other women and at the very least be a listening ear to someone in need of help. I learned so much about this deep dark secret that countless women are hiding. I realized how fortunate I am to be safe in my home and how much I wish for my own daughters to be in relationships that are free from violence. I also met an amazing mentor by the name of Kate. Needless to say this time period was unforgettable. But, for now my part in the fight against domestic violence has taken a back seat to all that I am currently juggling (I'll spare you the gory list). Urged on by a need to downsize, this morning I stopped by the shelter for a tour (it is a new location) and to return some training materials and videos that Kate lent me during my training days. Sadly, none of the shelter advocates that I had grown to know and love were working but a kind woman named April was happy to show me around. While the new shelter is bigger and brighter there was a familiarity to it all. Bunk beds and mattresses fill the small living spaces. And a few women quietly sat in the common areas, reading the days news or talking on their phones. The voices of small children echoed through a few closed doors. These are the women and children that are the faces of the purple ribbon. Unfortunately, according to the advocate, the house was full and had been for several weeks. This means that violence is still happening - too often.

After returning the items to the shelter I couldn't help but feel a bit of sadness. It was like keeping the training materials somehow kept my foot in the door. But, thanks to downsizing, I have realized that keeping things around as reminders just clutters my existence. Perhaps, those educational materials can now fall into the hands of another person with energy who is ready to take action and make change.